When You Feel Like Roommates
You coordinate groceries, bills and calendars. You might work well as a team, yet miss feeling like partners. From the outside nothing looks especially wrong, which can make the distance harder to explain.
Couples therapy can make room for that experience before either person has a neat explanation. At Shoreline, you can talk about the connection you miss, what daily life has become and what each of you would like more of.
Maybe this sounds familiar
01
You talk mostly about schedules.
02
You miss being curious about each other.
03
Time together still feels lonely.
04
You want more closeness but do not know how to ask.
01 · Understand
Name the kind of connection you miss
Feeling close can mean different things to each partner. One person might miss talking without screens. Another might miss affection, shared plans or feeling considered in small decisions. Naming the difference is more useful than assuming your partner should already know.
In therapy, you can look at a recent ordinary day and describe where you felt together and where you felt alone. The goal is to understand your relationship, not compare it with another couple's highlight reel.
02 · Practice
Make space without turning closeness into a task
A packed schedule can leave little room for a conversation that is not about logistics. Your therapist can help you discuss what gets in the way and what a realistic effort toward connection would look like for both people.
You do not need to arrive with a list of date-night ideas. It is also okay if a suggestion that seems simple feels difficult. That reaction can be part of the conversation rather than proof that someone is not trying.
03 · Choose Your Next Step
A practical fit conversation
Ongoing couples support is listed with Holly Whitmore, Emily Chen, Misty Goldenberg and Nicola Loretto. Their approaches differ, so you can ask how they work with your particular concern rather than choose by a method name alone.
A free 15 minute phone consultation can help clarify availability, session format and next steps. Describe the broad concern and any provider preference. Keep detailed personal or health information for the practice's approved clinical process.
A therapist who fits you
These clinicians offer the related service. Availability and the right approach for your situation are part of the consultation.
Holly Whitmore
MA, LMFT
Gottman couples therapy and IFS
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Emily Chen
AMFT
EFT, attachment and inner child work
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Misty Goldenberg
AMFT
EMDR, perinatal and couples work
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Nicola Loretto
MA, AMFT
Grief, identity and Gottman couples work
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Dina Abdelaal
AMFT
Trauma and PTSD, in English and Spanish
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Aidé Merito
AMFT, APCC
Teens, identity and trauma, in English and Spanish
View profileFees in brief
We are in network with Aetna (PPO and EPO plans only), Cigna, UnitedHealthcare, Optum and Blue Shield of California. Not every clinician is in network with every plan.
Seeing someone out of network? We provide superbills you can submit for reimbursement.
Rates and insuranceLicensed therapist
$180
per telehealth session
For adults, couples, children or families
Associate therapist
$150
per telehealth session
For adults, couples, children or families
Questions before you begin
Is feeling disconnected enough reason to seek couples therapy?
Yes. You can reach out about distance or a change in the relationship without waiting for a major crisis. A consultation helps you consider fit and what you want to work on.
How do I ask about this service?
Tell the practice the broad kind of support you are seeking, your language preference and whether you have a clinician in mind. Fit, availability and any fee or insurance arrangement need to be confirmed before an appointment.
A small first step
Start with a free 15 minute phone consultation to discuss provider fit, availability and the next step. Keep personal and health details out of an ordinary website inquiry. Ongoing sessions are offered by video within California.
Explore Couples TherapyKeep exploring
When You Keep Having the Same Fight
Explore recurring arguments, communication patterns and finding a couples therapist who fits your relationship.
When One Partner Shuts Down
You want to finish the conversation. Your partner goes quiet, leaves the room or says they cannot do this now.
Make room for a different conversation
Start with a free 15 minute phone consultation. We'll help you consider provider fit and next steps.