Learn how you disagree before the big decisions
Premarital Counseling by video across California.
Understanding Conflict Before Marriage
You can love each other and still approach conflict very differently. One person wants to resolve things right away. Another needs time to think. A difference that seems manageable now may be worth discussing before a major commitment.
Premarital counseling gives you a place to practice with ordinary disagreements and understand what each person needs when a conversation becomes difficult.
Maybe this sounds familiar
01
You move through conflict at different speeds.
02
An apology means different things to each person.
03
Small disagreements reveal old sensitivities.
04
You want to practice before a major transition.
01 · Understand
Notice the sequence
Think about a recent disagreement: how it began, what each person did next and how it ended. You do not need to decide who caused the whole pattern. Looking at the sequence can make the conversation less abstract.
Your therapist can help you explore what each response was trying to accomplish and how it landed with the other person. Wanting to be heard, needing space and wanting reassurance can coexist even when the interaction makes them hard to recognize.
02 · Practice
Discuss repair as well as disagreement
How you return to each other matters too. You can talk about apologies, unfinished questions and what makes a pause feel different from avoidance. Those conversations can be based on your actual experiences rather than a rule about how all couples should argue.
Premarital work does not promise conflict-free marriage. It offers a chance to understand patterns and consider different responses. If fear or coercion is part of the relationship, discuss that privately when asking about suitable care.
03 · Choose Your Next Step
Six clinicians, with room to find your fit
All six treating clinicians offer premarital counseling: Holly, Emily Chen, Misty, Nicola, Dina and Aidé. Ask about the approach, language and availability that fit your needs. Emily Harris supports the team as a supervisor and does not see clients at the practice.
The consultation can clarify the service and practical next steps. You do not need a complete plan for the relationship before asking questions. No fixed package, result or number of sessions is promised here.
A therapist who fits you
These clinicians offer the related service. Availability and the right approach for your situation are part of the consultation.
Holly Whitmore
MA, LMFT
Gottman couples therapy and IFS
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Emily Chen
AMFT
EFT, attachment and inner child work
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Misty Goldenberg
AMFT
EMDR, perinatal and couples work
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Nicola Loretto
MA, AMFT
Grief, identity and Gottman couples work
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Dina Abdelaal
AMFT
Trauma and PTSD, in English and Spanish
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Aidé Merito
AMFT, APCC
Teens, identity and trauma, in English and Spanish
View profileFees in brief
We are in network with Aetna (PPO and EPO plans only), Cigna, UnitedHealthcare, Optum and Blue Shield of California. Not every clinician is in network with every plan.
Seeing someone out of network? We provide superbills you can submit for reimbursement.
Rates and insuranceLicensed therapist
$180
per telehealth session
For adults, couples, children or families
Associate therapist
$150
per telehealth session
For adults, couples, children or families
Questions before you begin
Do different conflict styles mean we are incompatible?
This page cannot determine compatibility. A consultation can help you explore the concern and whether premarital work is a useful setting for the conversation.
How do I ask about this service?
Tell the practice the broad kind of support you are seeking, your language preference and whether you have a clinician in mind. Fit, availability and any fee or insurance arrangement need to be confirmed before an appointment.
A small first step
Start with a free 15 minute phone consultation to discuss provider fit, availability and the next step. Keep personal and health details out of an ordinary website inquiry. Ongoing sessions are offered by video within California.
Explore Premarital CounselingKeep exploring
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Make room for a different conversation
Start with a free 15 minute phone consultation. We'll help you consider provider fit and next steps.