One person is ready. The other is not sure.
Couples Therapy by video across California.
When Your Partner Is Unsure About Therapy
You want help and your partner is hesitant. They may worry about blame, privacy, cost or being asked to share before they are ready. You may hear that hesitation as a refusal to care about the relationship.
A fit conversation can help clarify what each person is concerned about. It should not become a tool for persuading or pressuring someone into treatment.
Maybe this sounds familiar
01
You disagree about whether there is a problem.
02
Your partner fears being blamed.
03
Cost or time is part of the hesitation.
04
You want support even if joint work is not possible.
01 · Understand
Understand the hesitation before answering it
There is a difference between not knowing what therapy will be like and not wanting to participate. You can ask what your partner is unsure about without assuming you already know the answer.
A consultation can address practical questions about format, approach and cost. It cannot guarantee that someone will feel comfortable or choose to begin. Your partner's willingness and your own needs both deserve an honest conversation.
02 · Practice
Consider your own next step
If your partner is not ready for joint work, you can still ask about individual support for your own experience. That does not make an individual therapist the therapist for the absent partner or give them enough information to diagnose the relationship.
You can use support to explore your feelings, boundaries and choices. Be clear with the practice about whether you are asking for individual therapy, couples therapy or help understanding the difference. That helps avoid expectations the service cannot meet.
03 · Choose Your Next Step
A practical fit conversation
Ongoing couples support is listed with Holly Whitmore, Emily Chen, Misty Goldenberg and Nicola Loretto. Their approaches differ, so you can ask how they work with your particular concern rather than choose by a method name alone.
A free 15 minute phone consultation can help clarify availability, session format and next steps. Describe the broad concern and any provider preference. Keep detailed personal or health information for the practice's approved clinical process.
A therapist who fits you
These clinicians offer the related service. Availability and the right approach for your situation are part of the consultation.
Holly Whitmore
MA, LMFT
Gottman couples therapy and IFS
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Emily Chen
AMFT
EFT, attachment and inner child work
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Misty Goldenberg
AMFT
EMDR, perinatal and couples work
View profile
Nicola Loretto
MA, AMFT
Grief, identity and Gottman couples work
View profile
Dina Abdelaal
AMFT
Trauma and PTSD, in English and Spanish
View profile
Aidé Merito
AMFT, APCC
Teens, identity and trauma, in English and Spanish
View profileFees in brief
We are in network with Aetna (PPO and EPO plans only), Cigna, UnitedHealthcare, Optum and Blue Shield of California. Not every clinician is in network with every plan.
Seeing someone out of network? We provide superbills you can submit for reimbursement.
Rates and insuranceLicensed therapist
$180
per telehealth session
For adults, couples, children or families
Associate therapist
$150
per telehealth session
For adults, couples, children or families
Questions before you begin
Can I book couples therapy for my partner without their agreement?
Participation and consent should be discussed directly with the practice. You can inquire about options, but do not assume an appointment commits another adult to treatment.
How do I ask about this service?
Tell the practice the broad kind of support you are seeking, your language preference and whether you have a clinician in mind. Fit, availability and any fee or insurance arrangement need to be confirmed before an appointment.
A small first step
Start with a free 15 minute phone consultation to discuss provider fit, availability and the next step. Keep personal and health details out of an ordinary website inquiry. Ongoing sessions are offered by video within California.
Explore Couples TherapyKeep exploring
When You Keep Having the Same Fight
Explore recurring arguments, communication patterns and finding a couples therapist who fits your relationship.
When You Feel Like Roommates
You coordinate groceries, bills and calendars. You might work well as a team, yet miss feeling like partners.
Make room for a different conversation
Start with a free 15 minute phone consultation. We'll help you consider provider fit and next steps.