After the argument, what happens next?
Couples Therapy by video across California.
Finding Your Way Back After an Argument
The volume has come down, but something still feels unfinished. Maybe you move on without talking. Maybe an apology starts another argument. You want to reconnect without pretending the issue disappeared.
Couples work at Shoreline can help you look at what repair means to each partner and what gets in the way of returning to each other.
Maybe this sounds familiar
01
You act normal while still feeling hurt.
02
Apologies feel vague or rushed.
03
Old arguments reopen quickly.
04
You want to reconnect without giving up the issue.
01 · Understand
Separate calming down from resolving the issue
Feeling less upset can make a conversation more possible, but it does not necessarily settle what happened. One partner may be ready to move on while the other still needs acknowledgment or a change in an agreement.
Your therapist can help you distinguish the immediate interaction from the underlying issue. That gives you room to discuss both: how you treated each other and what still needs attention when the conversation resumes.
02 · Practice
Find language that fits the hurt
A general sorry may not communicate what the other person needs to hear. You can explore what you understand about the impact, what responsibility you are taking and what you want to do differently. You can also say when you are not ready to accept an apology.
Repair is not a guarantee that an argument will never recur. It is work you can keep evaluating together. If a pattern includes intimidation or harm, a private discussion about safety and appropriate support comes first.
03 · Choose Your Next Step
A practical fit conversation
Ongoing couples support is listed with Holly Whitmore, Emily Chen, Misty Goldenberg and Nicola Loretto. Their approaches differ, so you can ask how they work with your particular concern rather than choose by a method name alone.
A free 15 minute phone consultation can help clarify availability, session format and next steps. Describe the broad concern and any provider preference. Keep detailed personal or health information for the practice's approved clinical process.
A therapist who fits you
These clinicians offer the related service. Availability and the right approach for your situation are part of the consultation.
Holly Whitmore
MA, LMFT
Gottman couples therapy and IFS
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Emily Chen
AMFT
EFT, attachment and inner child work
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Misty Goldenberg
AMFT
EMDR, perinatal and couples work
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Nicola Loretto
MA, AMFT
Grief, identity and Gottman couples work
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Dina Abdelaal
AMFT
Trauma and PTSD, in English and Spanish
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Aidé Merito
AMFT, APCC
Teens, identity and trauma, in English and Spanish
View profileFees in brief
We are in network with Aetna (PPO and EPO plans only), Cigna, UnitedHealthcare, Optum and Blue Shield of California. Not every clinician is in network with every plan.
Seeing someone out of network? We provide superbills you can submit for reimbursement.
Rates and insuranceLicensed therapist
$180
per telehealth session
For adults, couples, children or families
Associate therapist
$150
per telehealth session
For adults, couples, children or families
Questions before you begin
Is repair the same as forgiveness?
Not necessarily. You can discuss acknowledgment, responsibility and next steps without being required to forgive or reach a particular relationship decision.
How do I ask about this service?
Tell the practice the broad kind of support you are seeking, your language preference and whether you have a clinician in mind. Fit, availability and any fee or insurance arrangement need to be confirmed before an appointment.
A small first step
Start with a free 15 minute phone consultation to discuss provider fit, availability and the next step. Keep personal and health details out of an ordinary website inquiry. Ongoing sessions are offered by video within California.
Explore Couples TherapyKeep exploring
When You Keep Having the Same Fight
Explore recurring arguments, communication patterns and finding a couples therapist who fits your relationship.
When You Feel Like Roommates
You coordinate groceries, bills and calendars. You might work well as a team, yet miss feeling like partners.
Make room for a different conversation
Start with a free 15 minute phone consultation. We'll help you consider provider fit and next steps.